Accountable

Today Drew and I were running a little late for bible class….as usual….despite all of our very best efforts lately, there is always something that makes us late….well, actually it isn’t too hard to figure out. We have 2 children under the age of 3! It really wasn’t that late, probably only 2 minutes, but by the time we got Houston settled down and in his bible class, we were definitely in late status! In an attempt to find our usual class, we stumbled into what seems to be a really great class about marriage. I think we will stay there this quarter.

                One of the ideas we talked about today was how your spouse should be your best friend and, over time, you grow to love that person on a much deeper level than when you “fell in love”. You grow in love. Some examples: You can enjoy each other’s company without anything physical, you know you belong with that person and that God gave them to you, and you start knowing how the other person thinks.

                Drew and I have been together almost 7 years now, and even after that short of a time, in the span of a lifetime, I can see how much we have changed and how much our love has matured. We have faced and survived some things I never would have imagined back then. He has definitely seen me at my worst, and somehow decided it was still better to stick around. I’m so thankful for him weathering the storms so far. It’s made us stronger and I know we probably haven’t faced the worst yet.

                Lately, although it doesn’t seem like the biggest deal to most people, I have really really been struggling with my body. This probably seems a little vain and superficial to most people, but I have struggled with my body shape and size pretty much my entire life, and I was bullied a lot in junior high, by some extremely mean boys. When people say things enough, you start to believe them. So anyway, it’s always been a sensitive topic to me. I have never looked like a model…I’m thrilled when my clothing size is in the single digits! While I was pregnant with Cameron, I only gained like 25 pounds, which is pretty normal, but I am having the hardest time getting that last 10 to come off. ALL of my clothes are snugger than I would like, and I just can’t get my normal shape back, even with eating healthy and exercising. I’m not just sitting around, so it’s very frustrating that my body won’t do what I want it to!

                A couple of weeks ago, while I was shopping with Drew I just started crying in the dressing room. I put all the clothes back on the rack and walked out of the store. He was both a little confused and frustrated. I say frustrated, because he constantly tells me how beautiful I am….so why don’t I ever listen? That was the gist of the conversation we had once we got out to the car. Then I got really upset, because lately I don’t even feel like a beautiful person on the inside.

                Just as most guys’ minds are wired, Drew is always looking for a solution. That very night he pulled me off the couch and put in a beach body workout (Insanity….if you are wondering which one). We have been going strong for a couple weeks now, and I can honestly say there have never been so many days I wanted to kill him….at least in a row! Haha! It’s definitely an insane workout series, but I feel pretty good because it’s kicking his butt too! We usually do the workout immediately when he gets home from work, so for him that’s immediately after doing PT. He told me that I am his only motivation to come home and work out for a second time each day. I told him he is my only motivation for doing it at all! It’s amazing what you will stay motivated to do, when you have someone holding you accountable.

                As for the “beautiful on the inside” part, I felt there was no better place to start then back at the basics. We have started reading our bibles together every night. Although this is something we both occasionally did on our own, it’s been a long time since we sat down and made a point to do this with each other. We do this after the boys go to bed, before we go to bed, and I absolutely love that time together.  We’ve always known it’s something we SHOULD do on a daily basis, but it’s easy to get distracted and lose track of what is really important. I don’t want to say I don’t enjoy reading the bible, but it’s definitely MORE enjoyable together.     

                In my most vulnerable moments, when I am feeling my most self-conscious, I can always count on Drew to love me in just the right way.  I’ve got my best friend at my side, holding me accountable for my life.

My Best Friend

Recently I read an article about how the best marriages are a deep friendship. I completely agree with the thought of your spouse being your best friend and how your marriage should be the most important relationship on earth.

Drew and I have told each other countless times that we are each other’s best friends. I have been thinking a lot lately of how our relationship started and how far it has come, so I wanted to share a few of the reasons I knew Drew would be the perfect guy to spend eternity with! (These are all pre-wedding events J)

-In our accounting class, before we started dating, I told him very bluntly, on numerous occasions, “The smell of your maple donut makes me want to throw up. Would you hurry up and eat it?” He still asked me out.

-The first time I went over to his house to watch a movie with him, I walked into his room, and, reading the strange look on my face (watching movies in a boy’s room had never even crossed my mind as an acceptable option), he immediately put his futon into the couch position. He waited until we were almost 3 movies in before sitting too close or trying to hold my hand.

-He asked me to prom almost 4 months in advance (to a high school girl, that’s a pretty big deal!)

-On my 18^th birthday, he was spending the weekend at my grandparents’ house, where I was living at the time. Through the bathroom door, he heard me getting sick, and without any hesitation, he just opened the door and came in to check on me. Of course I was completely humiliated, but it’s nice to have someone by your side when you are that miserable. He stuck by me over the next three days, as I battled the worst stomach flu of my life, and it didn’t scare him away at all!

-He taught me how to drive a stick shift without making me cry! This was a pretty big deal to me, because the two people who had tried previously either yelled or laughed at me, and both times I ended up frustrated and in tears! Now I can drive a manual with complete confidence and some would argue even better than him….lol

-When I moved back in with my parents and my sister and niece lived there, he spent countless hours playing on the floor with her.

-When his parents’ comments actually had me convinced that being with me would be holding him back and jeopardizing his future, I wrote him a break up letter and handed it to him outside of his house in my car. He ran inside, slammed the door, locked me out and got into a pretty big argument with his dad about me…. He stood up for me and our relationship!

-I received a full-ride scholarship to a Christian university out of state, and I really wanted to go, but I was also in love with Drew, who was a year behind me in school. Drew never once asked me to stay behind for him. (Although I obviously did….)

-He let me put eyeliner on him and use him as the subject for a somewhat controversial photography project that would later be displayed at the local community college. To this day, I have no idea what ever happened to all of my prints.

-He proposed to me with M&M’s

-When his parents asked us to live together instead of getting married so young, he flat out told them “No, we don’t believe in that”. When they threatened to kick him out because he wanted to get married he said, “Okay”.

-He spent the weeks leading up to our wedding stuffing and addressing hundreds of wedding invitation envelopes, bagging up a variety of pink candies into individual treat bags  and tying them with a ribbon bow, and even spent the 4^th of July at our kitchen table with my dad making all the centerpieces for our reception! Who knew that guys would be so much better (and patient!!) with making topiaries…something he probably didn’t even know existed until I asked him to make them!

-On our wedding day, we opted to have pictures taken before the ceremony in a different location. On the way to the church, he stopped at Dairy Queen and brought me my favorite flavor of blizzard

Of course there are the obvious reasons of being able to trust him with my deepest secrets and share anything and everything with him, but these are just a few other qualities I value in a friendship.

From My Dad

              Anyone who knows my dad would easily agree that I am like him in a lot of ways! I get my stubbornness, my freckles, and, unfortunately, my very non-petite body from him, among many other things.

                Another thing he has “given” me is my addiction to tea! He and my mom both drink hot tea every morning. My mom isn’t too much of a breakfast eater though, so that’s why I don’t really give her the credit here. I remember sitting at the breakfast table with my dad when I was little and wanting to be just like him. So at about 5 or 6 years old, my morning routine of a cup of Lipton tea began. Some of you may shake your heads at that, but there are worse things a six year old can drink everyday! I drink my tea plain, so the only negative aspect is the caffeine (and from a dental perspective….staining!), which is slight in comparison to coffee or soda. To this day, I drink a cup of hot tea every morning. Occasionally I will drink coffee, (which is something I wasn’t influenced by either parent to drink, since neither one of them can stand the taste of coffee) but it’s usually tea.

                When my dad came a few weeks ago to visit, he said he had a present in his carry-on for me. My mom and I both kind of looked at him funny. She obviously wasn’t behind this, and he usually doesn’t bring gifts, so we were both curious. He handed me a box, and inside was a mug with red roses and lightning bolts and the words “Never underestimate the power of a hissie fit”. I didn’t really know how to react, because I didn’t know if he was making fun of me or what this was all about.

                Then he explained the true meaning of the words and I really love the mug.  

                Here is the story behind it:  “Life is all about give and take. But some issues can't be compromised. When the situation calls for drastic and dramatic measures, you have to draw a line in the sand, climb up on a soapbox, and protect the hill you're willing to die on. It's not easy . . . anything worth fighting for never is. But the most noble thing you can do is stand up for what is right, no matter the cost. But sometimes your voice can drown amid the roar of the masses. Once in a while you have to stomp your feet, scream at the top of your lungs, and throw a few lightning bolts to be heard. Never underestimate the power of a "hissie fit".”

                I would say that this is an attitude my dad has also given me. I feel like this is how he lives his life.

                This also made me start to think about a lot in my life. Sometimes it really IS necessary to throw a hissie fit. I also realized that some people in my life have witnessed a lot of these fits, while others probably have no clue where I stand on some issues. I’m not saying I think it’s necessary to walk down the street rambling and shouting at everyone who crosses your path and disagrees with you. However, why do I treat some significant people in my life like they aren’t important enough to know how I really feel and where I stand with some issues? I can think of several people who don’t really understand my life and many aspects of it, because I’ve never had a deep enough conversation with them to even bring up such issues. On the other hand, how many people in my life have been beaten to death by me standing up for what I thought was right when it really wasn’t a big deal at all? Sometimes I think I should have “picked my battles” and agreed to disagree. It’s a tricky line, and, when it should be “black and white”, why I have put so much “gray” in my life?

The Man Behind the Name

A lot of people have asked us why we picked the name Cameron Jay, so I wanted to take a few minutes to explain.

                I want to start out by saying that jokes about why we aren’t naming him Austin or Dallas, or whatever Texas town people can think of in the moment, aren’t funny. I will never be rude to your face, but please know that question gets so old and I am so annoyed on the inside when people think they are being so clever!! Houston’s name has nothing to do with Texas. He is actually named after one of the attorneys my mom used to work for when I was very little. I always liked the name, and as I grew up and learned what a great group of attorneys my mom worked for (most of them were related), I knew it would be a great choice. Drew also had a friend in grade school named Houston, so he liked the idea also (although that isn’t the person we named our son after). Obviously Houston’s middle name, Andrew, is after Drew.

                I just tried looking up the meaning of the name Cameron, and the results were that it’s a Scottish name meaning crooked or bent nose. That’s pretty funny to me, because I have honestly never looked into that. I guess we’ll see in a few days just how appropriate that is!! We just both liked the name Cameron. His first name has no other significance than that. It doesn’t seem to be in the list of most popular names lately, which was of huge importance to us! We don’t want him going to kindergarten with 10 other Cameron’s, just spelled differently (like the whole Aidan, Brayden, Caden thing lately!!). Of course no offense to those of you who chose those names!!

                However, his middle name, Jay, holds quite a bit of significance to us. We wanted to choose a family member to name him after, but it had to be someone worthy of that honor and it had to be a name we actually liked. For example, an obvious choice would have been my father, but I am not a fan of the names Bradley or Keith, so he was out of the running (sorry Grandma!). We tossed around a few possibilities and both easily came to the conclusion that he should be named after my mom’s dad, my Grandpa Jay.

                My Grandpa Jay is the only grandfather I ever really knew, since my dad’s father passed away when I was three. Drew and I are both very close to him, and love that man so much! We call him Gramps.

                Gramps was born in 1937, the sixth of eight children. A lot of people in that generation grew up with very little, but it’s safe to say that his family survived on the lower end of “poor”. He has been described as kind of a “runt” of the family and spent a lot of his childhood very sick, but he was definitely born a fighter! From a very young age, he knew what it would take and did what he could to survive. He has told me that growing up in a family that large, with such rough and rowdy siblings, you had to fight for every meal you ate – if you didn’t eat quick, you didn’t eat! He delivered newspapers and even gathered glass bottles to help pay for the things he needed and wanted, such as going to the “show”.

                He struggled a lot in school, and he has told me how mean the other kids were. While kids now complain about having to wear uniforms, he would have given anything to wear a uniform so the other kids wouldn’t know how poor he was. He dropped out of high school, partly because of illness, but mostly because it was such a struggle for him. It was a battle he didn’t feel was important enough to fight. Without a lot of family support and influence, I imagine I wouldn’t have seen the importance back then either! However, after a lot of convincing from one of his older brothers, he eventually returned and graduated and I am so proud of him for doing so! He also overcame his struggles with reading – there is always a book sitting by his recliner (the television remote is always close by too, haha, but honestly he probably reads way more than he watches tv!).

                Gramps met my Gramm when she was 14. She was living with his oldest brother and his wife, as a foster child (someday I will write about her life and what an amazing woman she is…). He was 18 and wanted to marry her, but she insisted on waiting until she was done with high school. Her senior year of high school, she graduated at semester and they were married at the end of January. She had to get special permission from her father, since she wouldn’t turn 18 until March of that year. This past January they celebrated their 53^rd anniversary!

                In 1965, when my mom was five years old, they bought their house on Kearney Street, where they still live now. Back then it was considered an “All-American” neighborhood, with very nice houses and kids always playing in the streets. It has changed A LOT over the years, but their house is one of those that stands out as one that is taken care of. The yard always looks great, the snow is always shoveled off the sidewalks, and you can tell that the people who live there actually care and take pride in the place they call home. It’s not like they are living in the ghetto, but it’s easy to see which houses are now neglected rentals, and which ones are still home to the original owners!

                Gramps worked extremely hard to provide for Gramm and their three daughters. Even now, at the age of almost 75, he is only partially retired. He still works two and half days a week. I imagine he will work until the day he dies! This seems like a cliché phrase, but he has really made a life for himself. He came from nothing and worked for everything he has! Neither Gramps nor Gramm is bitter about their childhood or their struggles in life, which is also impressive to me. That’s the kind of person I really look up to!

                Even Gramps would tell you that he was (and still is a little bit) rough around the edges. To illustrate what I mean by this, the first time my dad met him, he was drunk and was threatening to punch my dad in the face. However, he completely changed his life! Close to thirty years ago he completely gave up drinking AND smoking – cold turkey! My mom has always told me it was because of his grandkids (she didn’t want us around all of that), which I find touching! That’s how grandparents should really be!! I honestly can’t even picture him any other way than he is now!

                Gramps has the biggest heart of anyone I know (well, except for Gramm, but that’s for a different blog!). He is the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off his back if you asked for it! He is always willing to lend a hand to help out in any way you can think of! I still remember once when my parents (due to a huge miscommunication) left me at the mall when I was about ten. Gramps was the only one I could get a hold of and he raced across town immediately to come get his crying granddaughter! Their doors (and spare bedrooms and couch and fridge) are always open, anytime, whether they are there or not! We all have our own keys and know that we are welcome anytime we want or need! In fact, I have lived with my grandparents twice in my life (the first time for eight months and then three more a few years later!).

                I also have to mention what a fun, and slightly crazy, guy he is! He and Gramm went out dancing a lot in their younger years, and he is an excellent dancer. At my wedding reception he was right there in the circle with me and a group of my girlfriends! He still goes out on the roller rink or ice rink with his grandkids and great-grandkids! He rides his bike and walks all over town as well. One of the things I remember most about staying the night with them was going to play putt-putt golf. We went all the time!! He is also always up for any card game or board game any of the kids want to play! Other talents you can add to the list include boxing, water skiing, hunting, fishing, golfing, bowling, and diving…. There’s probably not anything he wouldn’t try!

                He loves all of his grandchildren, and doesn’t play favorites. He also treats all of our significant others like they are a part of the family too! He is so proud of Drew, in fact, that sometimes it’s nauseating! He is the number one cheerleader for all of us! I remember MANY school plays where I was completely mortified to hear “Go (embarrassing nickname!)!!!!” from the stands! Now it means the world to me that he was there, though!        Even now that I live so far away, he still knows what is going on in my life (and Drew’s and Houston’s).

                My point here isn’t all the significant contributions he has made to society or all the great things he has done in life. What’s important to Drew and me is that he is significant in OUR lives! We couldn’t think of anyone we would rather name our son after!

Priorities

This past Sunday afternoon we had planned a boating trip with a group of our guy friends here (people that work with Drew). Unfortunately the wind prevented us from boating, but we still enjoyed an afternoon being sandblasted at the beach and a fun dinner followed by all of them spoiling Houston rotten at the arcade attached to the restaurant.

                This made me think of all of our friends from Drew’s last unit, and the bonds they all shared. It was different than the situation here. Here they are all good friends, but it’s more of a competitive type relationship, comparing grades and such. It’s not the same type of brotherhood that develops when you are with people for several years and spend a lot of time with them, sometimes even relying on them for survival.

                Drew’s previous job was as a medic for an infantry battalion. He joined his last unit in the spring of 2008 and deployed with them for 12 months to Afghanistan in 2009-2010. In February 2011, we went on a camping trip with a group of our medic friends at this beautiful lake in North Carolina. I don’t think I will ever forget this trip.

                Drew is always honest with me about his job. I don’t want him to sugar coat things for me. I want to know up front if he will be in danger. Obviously there are confidential things he can’t share with me, so he doesn’t break any rules, but I feel I am pretty informed and have a realistic perspective of what he faces day to day. Deployments are a little different though. It’s impossible to know everything he does every day. It’s also impossible to know all of the details about those dreaded phone calls you receive way too often, informing you of “incidents” and paratroopers whose lives were lost, or those who were injured. I’m not even sure I would want to know all the details, honestly.

                The thing about infantrymen is that they are on the front lines, and their medics are right there with them. Drew was technically a “treatment” medic, so theoretically he stayed at a treatment facility, but he spent several months of the year he was in Afghanistan out “on the line” with the infantry companies. Even being back at the FOB didn’t guarantee safety. It was usually just some sort of tent –like building. He saw plenty of action there as well.

                Back to the camping trip…. Two of the medics we went with were purple heart recipients and one of the medics was attached to the company that saw the most action, hands down, enduring firefights that lasted days at time. That night as we sat around the campfire, they all relived their war horror stories and shared their experiences with each other. I think it’s impossible to even try to understand what they went through, so I will never claim to “get it”, but it definitely painted a vivid picture in my mind when I heard how the events unfolded from their own perspective. One of the worst feelings for a medic is when he or she can’t do anything (at least that’s what I gathered that night and from all the other stories Drew has shared with me). As they talked about those who never made it home, my heart broke.

                Yes, it’s their job, and when they entered the military, they knew what they would potentially face, but it doesn’t always seem “real” to the rest of us, until you hear stories like the ones they told.

                Drew got out of that unit in August 2011, to start training for his new job, but those guys will always be his brothers. At the beginning of 2012 they deployed back to Afghanistan for approximately 9 months this time. In early April, we received the news, of one of the paratroopers who was killed in action. Although he wasn’t the first of this deployment, this one really affected both of us. Suddenly all of the deployment emotions we had tucked away resurfaced, and it all seemed too real again. The young wife this soldier left behind has been so strong through all of this. I can’t even begin to imagine what she is going through, but it’s been so heartbreaking to think about. I can’t even think of how I would tell someone as young as Houston that daddy will never be coming home.

                Unfortunately, stories like theirs are not uncommon and they aren’t limited to military families. Just this weekend I saw two facebook statuses asking for prayers for young families who had unexpectedly lost their fathers.

                For me, hearing stories like this really puts everything into perspective. It makes me cling tighter to those I love and enjoy the smallest of moments that much more! It’s so easy to take the people you love for granted. The reality of life is, though, that it can end in the blink of an eye.

                Although I tell Houston how much I love him every day, several times a day, I hope he really sees it. I hope I am not making myself too busy for him.  I can tell you that lately, one of the ways I have enjoyed some extra time with him is not cutting off the number of books we read. He frequently gets 4-5 books before naptime and usually 2-3 before bedtime. I mean, really, what am I too “busy” doing that I can’t spend five extra minutes reading his favorite book to him? This is the first time in a long time that I haven’t been in school or working, so I really don’t have ANY excuses now!

                The same is true of my relationship with Drew. A lot of dirty dishes sit in the sink until morning time, just so we can get that extra 15 minutes of alone time, before we go to bed. This must have been a wake up call to him as well, because there have been a lot of adorable post it notes left on the kitchen counter, telling me how much he loves me and to have a good day.

                I know this was kind of a long train of thought to follow, but this has really been on my mind a lot lately the past few weeks. I guess the biggest point I’m trying to make is to make sure that the priorities in my life are WORTH being important!

               

Getting in Shape

As my due date quickly approaches, one of the things I am most looking forward to is getting my body back into shape. I’m not the skinniest or most athletic person but I LOVE working out and I have missed it so much! This pregnancy has been especially difficult for me because I had to quit exercising pretty much altogether right from the beginning.

Due to a pre-existing hip/lower back injury that was provoked by a combination (most likely) of being pregnant and standing on my feet for the majority of my 12 hour shifts at the dentist office in the most awkward and uncomfortable positions imaginable, I was barely able to walk some days, let alone hit the gym. After a few months of physical therapy, which really helped dull the pain, but didn’t erase the problem,  I was released until after the baby is born. Hopefully the problem will just resolve on its own, but if not, it will require an MRI and who knows what else…. But I’m straying from my point a little bit.

Now that we no longer have a membership at a gym with daycare provided, Drew bought me a double jogging stroller a few months ago. We’ve used it quite a few times to walk around the track that is located (conveniently!!!) just a couple blocks from our house. I absolutely LOVE it so far, but I can’t wait to strap my tennis shoes on and really take it for a spin. (Ask me again how much I love running around the end of June, when I realize how severely out of shape I am, while running in the hottest months Florida has!! LOL)

In addition to that, I have a true “health nut” friend who got me hooked on juicing. Although I haven’t done any juice fasts like she does to “detox”, I love it so far. Drew and I try to drink green drink (a combo of spinach, celery, cucumber, parsley, pear, green apple, papaya, and lemon) about 3 times a week. Even Houston likes it. One of my newest pregnancy cravings is carrot/celery/apple juice, which I make a couple times a week as well (I would probably drink that every day if it wasn’t such a pain to peel all the carrots!)

I have also traded in my other favorite pregnancy craving, frosted shredded wheat, for organic, plain old shredded wheat. I have to admit that the taste isn’t really that disappointing though, if you are wondering! I’ve also been trying to add a lot more fresh vegetables and fruits to all of our meals. We are pretty healthy eaters, but over the last few months we’ve gotten a little lazy, just due to the convenience of it! I really don’t like to cook, but I’m doing my best to only eat out a couple times a week, like on the weekend.

I feel like we are on the right track for our bodies, but more importantly we’ve both recently committed to making our hearts healthier too!

Our preacher has been teaching a series of lessons on the “war” of Christianity and preparing ourselves for the “battlefield”. This past week was a huge wake up call to me, personally. He entitled it “Basic Training for the Christian Soldier”.  The lesson outlined what we must believe, what we must know, and what we must train to do. It was actually quite embarrassing for me to admit what I really didn’t know. Even though I learned all of this growing up, it’s amazing how much of it didn’t really stick with me. For example, he said we should be able to quickly locate a verse in Nahum, when someone asks us, without breaking into a sweat. Yeah, I can tell you I wouldn’t be able to do that! I’d be flipping through the pages like a hot mess! Some of the things we must know included books of the Bible, the 10 commandments, the three points of the gospel, the three points of the great commission, the storyline of major events in the Bible, and minimal verses that should be committed to memory. He gave a list of twenty basics every Christian should know and there were at least half of those I wouldn’t feel confident discussing with a non-Christian.

This is how I’ve been neglecting my heart.

On Sunday night, we all got an awesome handout with more of this outlined for us. (In fact when I called my mom and told her about it, she requested copies for her and my dad!) The first two pages are 100 verses to memorize. They are broken into sub-categories such as the word, prayer, baptism, victory over sin, faith, return of Christ, and consequences. There are 39 total. In order to set a realistic goal, Drew and I have committed to memorizing one verse per week from each of the categories. The other two pages list the twenty basics as well as some basic Bible literacy. It’s my understanding that we’ll be discussing this handout in the weeks to come, and I am so looking forward to this. I think this is seriously going to take the “fear factor” out of teaching others. If I don’t even know WHY I believe something, how am I going to convince anyone else they should believe it too?

In addition to all of this, I have been influenced by another friend to complete the 90 day challenge. This is a 90 day plan to read the entire Bible. I’m only a few days in, so I’m sure my motivation will start to wear off a little, but I feel like it’s going to be so worth it! How will I know how to use my weapon in battle (the Bible) if I don’t even know what it says?

So this is our plan to get back into shape.

He also told them this parable: “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. – Luke 6:39-40 (I stole this from Sunday morning’s sermon)

Jesus answered, “It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God” – Matthew 4:4 (This is actually the first verse we memorized, and I think it can be applied here perfectly! Side note: this verse is actually really easy for us to remember because it’s the verse to one of my favorite songs!)

Here is the link to the 90 day challenge, which I stole from my friend.

http://www.thebrooknetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/BibleIn90Days.pdf

Get to work!

Last week Drew and I received a welcome packet from our church. In the packet was a directory (complete with photos – which I was so thankful for because I am terrible at remembering people’s names!), some info about the church and different ministries/groups to get involved with, and some paperwork for us to return. They just wanted to know our address, phone numbers, email address, etc, as well as when our birthdays are, when and where we got married, and when and where we got baptized (To be honest, I had to call my mom and ask! All I could remember about myself is that it was a Saturday night in August and everyone who came went to Dairy Queen afterwards.  Haha!). There were also two optional service surveys included, so we could fill out the areas where we would be interested in serving. We filled everything out and mailed it back to the church secretary that day. I am guessing that they probably arrived Friday.

Sunday morning as we were dropping Houston off to bible class, I was pulled aside and “claimed” as a teacher for the toddler bible class. Sunday afternoon Drew got a phone call asking if he could be a greeter for the month of June. (Yes, MY Drew volunteered to be a greeter! I was very proud of him for going out of his comfort zone a little bit there, because if any of you know him, you know he’s pretty shy. He isn’t rude or anything, but he usually isn’t the one to just strike up a conversation with everyone who enters the room) Then during a casual conversation Sunday evening on the playground, our preacher also remembered that Drew was willing to help with any sort of construction projects at the building. Whenever the new playground padding stuff comes in, they’ll be calling Drew to help out. We were both a little surprised, but VERY impressed with how quickly the word had spread and how willing they were to put us to work! While I don’t feel it’s a church’s sole responsibility to get new members involved, it’s definitely a welcoming feeling. I have always felt it’s pointless to give out surveys if you are never going to actually ask people to help out in the areas they are willing to. How would a new member know where they are needed unless the need is made known?

As a little side note to this, we also received an email in regards to Drew being a greeter. Greeters wear name tags, which cost $7.50. I was asked if I wanted to order one as well. This made me think of our last church where everyone had magnetic name tags they were supposed to wear every Sunday and then leave in their mailbox before going home. I accidentally wore mine home one day, so I left it on our kitchen counter. I was baking cookies one day and smelled something burning in the oven. I looked at the oven rack and found a bubbling piece of plastic draped over the metal bars of the oven rack and the magnetic remains of my name tag stuck to the side of the cookie sheet. Something crazy like that would only happen to ME! Hahaha! So in my email response, I said we would just order the one for Drew.

I think everything in life happens for a reason. Drew and I were just discussing this the other night. Neither one of us really feels that his schooling is the reason we are here. Yes, that is what consumes like 80% of his time and energy, but there is a bigger purpose! We needed this refreshing new start and new “family” to be a part of. We already know that neither one of us will want to leave at the end of the year, but my hope is that we’ll carry this new attitude and perspective to wherever we end up next!

“The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ” 1 Corinthians 12:12

The Perfect Man.... for me at least!

A couple of days ago, my husband came home from work, and as always we went through the typical, “How was your day?” type of conversations. Walking away from our conversation, I realized just how much I love him and why.

While he was at work, a lot of the guys he works with were bashing their wives, which apparently is kind of the norm at that place. One of his coworkers started talking to him about how uncomfortable she is in a room full of men like that. She stated that she hates the fact they put no value in the institution of marriage. Then she proceeded to tell him how she’s noticed he is very different from that type of guy. She said she has never heard him say one negative thing about his wife. His response was, “Of course I would never talk about my wife in that way. I love her and she is my best friend!” When I heard about that conversation, the biggest smile spread across my face. I have always known how much Drew loves me, but it was awesome to hear that people around him notice too!

The conversation about my day went a little differently. I made the mistake of posting a status on facebook that didn’t clearly illustrate the point I was trying to make and I was completely misunderstood. I came off as insensitive, when that wasn’t my intention. As a result, I managed to make at least three people very angry, and I woke up to some pretty nasty comments all over my facebook wall. I was so upset I was in tears, not only because of what was said, but because of who had made the comments! Of course I immediately deleted everything these people said and did my best to apologize and correct what I was trying to say. I felt that if these people had truly gotten to know me over the years they would realize what a big heart I actually have and how sensitive I am to others’ feelings. I made an error in judgment and wasn’t clear enough in my thoughts (as a side note: lesson learned). I honestly can’t even remember most of what was said to me, but one comment was saved to my email, so I read it over and over and over again throughout most of the morning, which really only made it worse.  When I shared what had happened with Drew, his response was, “What is THAT all about?” He was obviously just as shocked as I was that his own family would say such things to me, out of anger. Then he gave me a big hug and that was that. He didn’t overreact and immediately jump down this person’s throat in my defense. He didn’t say anything hateful in return.  He just told me he was sorry that it happened and we moved on. Minutes later we were laughing, and I was feeling 100% better.  That is another reason I love him so much. He has never said anything to anyone, especially a woman, that would embarrass me or make his mother think less of him (because that is how I always measure what a person says/does….What would your mother say if she knew you ______________?). He doesn’t overreact or use curse words. He is level-headed and even-tempered. The only time he ever really shows any aggression is on the ice rink (he’s a hockey player)!  Aside from disciplining our child, I can’t even think of a time that he has raised his voice.

So my thoughts today are mostly about what I think MAKES a man, and why I have such a great one!  

I couldn’t start talking about my husband without first giving credit to my father. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have been raised in the home I was. Not all children have a solid example of who they should seek in a mate, but I did. My dad is someone I consider to be a very wise, grounded and knowledgeable Christian man. He and my mom both did an excellent job raising my sister and me, but this is about the men in my life, so I will mostly be speaking about him. The two points I will mostly touch on are the fact that I never questioned his love for my mom and I never questioned his love for us.

Although I am not an expert at parenting, in my opinion one of the most important things you can do is show your love towards your spouse, in a way that your kids can see. My dad always made it a point to show affection (in an appropriate way of course) towards my mom so that his daughters could see. He treated my mom with respect, never screaming at her or speaking down to her. I’m not going to say they never fought, but their disagreements were rarely even noticeable to us. In the early years of my childhood, my mom worked full time, so my dad helped her A LOT around the house and with us girls. The fact that he didn’t walk in the door from his way over 40 hour work week and plop his behind on the couch in front of the television left the biggest impression on me. I can remember many nights that the three of us girls walked in the door to a freshly cleaned kitchen floor or bathroom or living room or whatever, with dinner either started or on the table. He always helped my mom with dishes, regardless of who cooked (until my sister and I were old enough to take on that task). He helped a lot in getting us ready for bed, to include bath time, brushing teeth and reading/telling stories, and he even helped get us ready in the morning (which is a huge reason I learned to use a curling iron when I was 5! LOL but he tried really hard!). Although he was probably completely exhausted from his own job, he never acted like it was a burden to help out my mom. Not much has really changed since we’ve both grown up and moved out of their house. In fact, whenever he has the chance he does the same for us girls as adults. He has changed countless numbers of his grandchildren’s diapers, given many baths, read lots of stories and played some of the most ridiculous games for hours on end to give my sister and me a break.

That brings me to my next point – I always knew how much he loved me. My sister and I are four years apart, and while you would think two little girls could easily play together, we rarely did. We didn’t really share any of the same interests, and it wasn’t until we were teenagers that we even started to like each other! (Now we are very close, so I can look back at all the times she was so horrible to me and laugh…. but that’s probably worth a whole different blog post!) Who do you think stepped up when I needed a playmate? My dad. My earliest memories are of tea parties and playing dolls with my dad. He was always very patient and never made me feel that he was too busy for me. He turned horrible experiences like my sister’s bi-weekly allergy shot appointments into a fun time together by letting us pick out as many different books we wanted in the waiting room and reading with us then taking us to get an ice cream cone afterwards. He tried his very best to get us both interested in the activities he loved, so I can remember many trips out to the “hills” for fishing in the canoe or trapping. Of course the parts I remember most are stopping at the gas station on the way out of town for a box of Jolly Joes (the purple Mike and Ikes which are my FAVE) and a bottle of Clearly Canadian Sparkling Water (which were equally delicious and I haven’t seen in probably 15 years!). So you can see which parts really stuck with me over the years, lol, but he DID manage to make me a pretty good shot with rifles/shotguns/pistols, which I have come to appreciate more recently than I ever did back then! He always believed in me and encouraged me to follow my dreams and set goals that I felt might be slightly out of reach, so I would work hard to achieve them. More than anything though, I knew he loved me, because he did his very best to make sure I grew up to love the Lord. This meant making sure we were in bible class and worship every Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday evening too. He helped us memorize our bible verses and prayed with us daily. He always did his best to show us through example how to be a Christian.

In my opinion, it should be every girl’s goal to grow up and marry a man just like her dad (granted of course, she had a good dad!). My dad set the bar pretty high, and I am so grateful for that! I didn’t settle for less than I deserved. I can count the number of boys I dated, or even showed interest in on, one hand, because I wasn’t just looking for a good time, I was looking for the kind of person I would marry.

In all my very careful selection, I never would have guessed in a million years that I would find that kind of person in my high school accounting class, in my very small town, sitting across the table from me. To be honest with you, I didn’t exactly find that kind of person in the beginning. I found a friend that I really enjoyed talking to and, okay, you can call it flirting. He was infatuated with me, but I was a little more hesitant. (Actually to this day, I’m not exactly sure WHY he was so interested in me…. I was a little guarded and constantly complained about the smell of the maple donuts he always ate…..maybe it was just the challenge that he found so appealing)  Either way, I agreed to go to a movie with him and I definitely was attracted to his good looks and personality. We started spending a lot of time together and after less than a week, we were in love.

We talked a LOT on the phone and spent a LOT of time together. We became extremely close, and he was so easy for me to love. This is where I have to pause and give credit to my in-laws. They raised a son with a great personality. He is easy to talk to, easy to get along with and very polite (although incredibly shy until you get to know him…but he is slowly growing out of that). He has a sense of humor and positive attitude that never let a frown stick around on anyone’s face for too long! All of these are traits I see in his mom as well, so I’m going to give her most of the credit for those things. However, sports played a huge role in his childhood (specifically baseball and hockey, although he’s tried it all and I doubt there’s physical activity that he isn’t naturally perfect at! Ha!), and his dad was a big part of that. I will give him the credit for Drew’s discipline, determination and respectfulness.

With a guy like that, most girls wouldn’t hesitate at all to commit, but I knew that there was more he was capable of and more that I wanted from him. It was a pretty long drawn out process before we were married, but eventually after a lot of discussion, studying, and influence from much better examples than me, he finally saw the small piece of the puzzle that actually meant the most to me. Drew was baptized (by my dad) exactly one week before our wedding. I knew then that I was safe to leave my dad’s arms for Drew’s.

We are both far from perfect, or even where we want to be as Christians, but the point is that we are working towards a goal, together.

There’s a book Drew really likes (and I have read as well) called “How to Hit a Curve Ball, Grill the Perfect Steak, and Become a Real Man” by Stephen James and David Thomas (who have also written several other books we LOVE). When we question what it means to be a real man, I like this answer the best.

     “If the goal of masculinity is an increasing authenticity through the work in our lives of love, faith, and hope, then the art of authentic manhood is something we will be practicing for the rest of our lives. In other words, maybe real manhood is a continual process of becoming, rather than something we attain, say around the age of eighteen, twenty-one, or whatever age you want to suggest. Maybe that is what the Bible means when it talks about working out our salvation with fear and trembling. We will never get this thing completely right, but that’s by design. Becoming an artist is a life-long process, and we will be learning how to be ‘real men’ for   the rest of our days.” (18)  (I couldn't get this to format properly, so yes I am aware that my quote is referenced incorrectly LOL....)

My true point in all this babbling is not that I found or married a perfect man. Instead, I married a man who loves me enough to try and be that man and will forever work at being a better man. THAT is why I am so in love with him and THAT is why he is such a blessing in my life!!!

Here are some verses to close with, since I wasn’t going for one specific idea here, but a combination of many (There’s a lot, because I found a LOT that I liked…they are sort of in order of relevance to what I was writing about):

 “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7

“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:8

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  Ephesians 5:22-31

 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

“Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” 1 Peter 5:5-9

“The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.” Proverbs 15:33

 “Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.” Mark 16:16

 “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed-not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence-continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” Philippians 2:12-13 (This is the verse referenced in the quote from the book)

 “Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed” 1 Peter 1: 13

Who knew I was so "un-PC"?? & Forgiveness

Just to make sure we’re all on the same page here, I want to start today’s blog with my own little personal disclaimer. I never would have considered defending myself to my journal, but since I might have an audience (few in number I am sure), I should probably cover all my bases.  Recently I was attacked on Facebook by someone (a family member!) who basically told me I was the stupidest, most annoying drama queen of all his “friends” who posts the most “attention seeking crap”. This person told me I should be ashamed of myself for being such a hypocrite and putting myself on a pedestal above everyone else. My initial reaction was of course shock! I had no idea he was keeping a tally of everything I had ever posted in the last 4 years and I had no idea it bothered him that much! My next reaction was to question why he didn’t simply delete me years ago if it’s been so unbearable to read what I write about! Obviously I was very hurt by these comments, not only because I felt they were very hateful, but it’s never ever been my intention to put myself on a pedestal or talk down to anyone. I felt incredibly misunderstood, and like I failed to portray the point I really wanted to make! I don’t intentionally try to hurt people. Please know that my goal with this blog is to simply get some of my feelings out and learn something from myself. I’m not trying to teach or preach to anyone, and I will not claim to have all or even ANY of the right answers! This blog is mostly for me, but my hope is that it can also be used by others, if for no other reason, for comic relief! Please feel free to ignore me and quit reading or even go so far as to delete me at any time (of course that mainly applies to facebook….I suppose the proper term for blogging is “un-follow me”, but I am pretty new at this LOL)!

On to the point….. J

Yesterday in Bible class we were discussing forgiveness. The “opener” to the lesson was a story of four teenagers. Three young men were killed in an automobile accident when they chose to get into a vehicle with an intoxicated young woman driving. At the boys’ funerals, their parents pleaded with those mourning to not blame her for their deaths, but to forgive her and work to raise awareness about making good choices. The boys’ parents all said they forgave the young lady and realized their sons made choices that night too. They committed themselves to move forward with an attitude of love towards the girl, who would now forever face the consequences of her decisions that night. This reaction goes against any human’s natural instinct. It’s much more difficult to forgive someone than to be bitter and hold a grudge, but it’s also more rewarding and better for both of you in the long run.

I felt like this lesson came at the perfect time, because I have been struggling with forgiveness for quite a while now. I don’t want to mention any names, out of respect, but recently I have been hurt by a family member. I have been struggling to try and mend a relationship that’s been a little rocky over the past seven years. The biggest struggle I am having is that I don’t know exactly what is happening or why our relationship always seems to be falling apart. Emotions such as jealousy and pride seem to be a huge stumbling block for us, and I am also not entirely sure that this person is even aware of how I feel or how much I have been hurt. Obviously communication is a huge barrier for us as well. That and the fact that sometimes I feel (whether it’s accurate or not) that I am the only one who actually cares enough to want to fix everything. When people don’t wear their emotions on their sleeve (like I do…LOL) it’s hard for me to read them and know what they even want! After shedding many tears on my husband’s shoulders, he finally just told me recently that I need to be the bigger person in this situation. If I want to make a relationship work between us, I have to be the one who is always trying harder. In this situation, this means closing old wounds from years ago, and forgiving without ever receiving apologies. Of course there are always two sides to a relationship, so I know I have probably hurt this other person as well.

So taking it back to class, we discussed a lot of different verses in the bible, but a few really stuck.

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” – Matthew 6:14-15 I have never pretended to be perfect, and there’s a list of things I’ve done (that’s WAY too long!!) that have required God’s love and forgiveness. How can I even ask that from him, when I’m hesitant or even unwilling to do the same for the people I love?

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” – Colossians 3:12-14 I wear the name Christian and want to have a truly loving heart, so I need to start acting like it!

So after some reflection, I decided what I really want is a REAL relationship with this person. I want to be able to call this person on the phone without any awkwardness. I want to love this person and feel loved in return. I want to be a good example to my sons, so they will grow to be the men they should be. This is me, putting it in writing, for my own records, that I am dedicated to mending this relationship and making a solid effort. I know that sort of sounds ridiculous, but I need a way to hold myself accountable. I want to remember these verses as motivation to keep doing the right thing, even when it’s frustrating!

I also found a few quotes online that I liked:

“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”

“Forgiveness is the oil of relationships”

Second Child Syndrome

I often joke with my parents about everything I “endured” being the neglected second child. I’m sure others can relate to the overall lack of love a second child feels from parents who are too exhausted by the first child! Haha! So recently I was discussing with my mom how bad I feel for Cameron. Basically the only new things he will be getting is clothes, since I got rid of all of Houston’s, never planning to need them again!( However, I started saving them around the 18 month mark, thinking if I saved boy clothes, maybe someday I would have a girl! HA!) In reality though I am happy that Houston will have a playmate (who he will hopefully be nicer to than my sister was to me!), and it IS nice that they will share things like Legos and the train set. My children are VERY blessed to have almost ALL of their grandparents and great-grandparents still living (which translates into LOTS of TOYS!!), so hopefully by having 2 boys, we won’t need 3 closets to hold all their toys!

Anyway, my mom recently mailed me a copy of a sign one of our friends made for her back in the day and I had to share it!

There is absolutely nothing so sweet as a little baby, especially the second one. Mother’s whole attitude has changed – she now has learned the art of rearing children. To think of all the unnecessary energy and money she has wasted on the first!

FIRST CHILD                                                                                                         SECOND CHILD
Beautiful layette……………………………………………………………………………………..Trip to attic
Weight taken every day…………………………………………………………………Feel leg once a month
Sneeze? Call the doctor!........................................................................Pneumonia? Asprin
Powder every 19 minutes…………………………………………………………………Grease every month
Everything sterilized……………………………………………………………………………….Sucks bones
Waked up for visitors……………………………………………………………………………..No visitors come
Diapers changed when wet……………………………………………………………………Good swimmer
Buggy rides…………………………………………………………………………………………….Open the window
“He’s 9 months, 3 days, 2 hours old”……………………………………………”Born in August…I think”
Snapshots in album……………………………………………………………………………….Blank pages
Psychology book…………………………………………………………………………………….Daddy’s belt
“She’s crying”……………………………………………………………………………………”Turn up the TV”
Father no help at all…………………………………………………………………………Father no help at all
Bags under mother’s eyes………………………………………………………………Baby cries in the night
“Shhh, he’s asleep”……………………………………………………………………………”Let’s throw a party!”
Play pen………………………………………………………………………………………………Neighborhood
“Don’t let her out of sight”……………………………………………”She’ll be home when she’s hungry”

-Author Unknown-

So poor little Cameron will have to suffer from “Second Child Syndrome” just like his poor neglected mother!

The Lord Giveth...

In the past few weeks, I’ve had a lot on my mind regarding the upcoming events of life that will forever change our family. Without going into a whole lot of detail, I will say that the biggest event will be the birth of our second child.

This is going to be a long post today, because before I get started, I’m going to give a brief history of how we got to this point in our lives.

Drew and I met in the fall of 2005, my last semester of high school. We started dating over Christmas break, and I never returned to school. I call him my high school sweetheart, but I guess that isn’t totally true. Anyway…he didn’t graduate until May 2007 and we were married in July of 2007.

Before he would marry us, our preacher gave us a premarital counseling workbook to fill out together (then he met with us later to further discuss and work out any issues). The biggest point of this workbook was to open communication lines about difficult topics we would face in our marriage. One of the topics was the number of children we each desired and when we planned to have them. We decided we wanted to wait four years before trying to have any children.

I can’t remember exactly how the conversations went or the specific reasons why, but that idea flew out the window pretty much immediately after we were married. We just couldn’t wait to start a beautiful little family. Of course, life didn’t go exactly how we planned. The army was partially to blame for our obstacles, but we also discovered through fertility testing that it would be nearly impossible to conceive on our own.  Many of the doctors and nurses looked at us like we were crazy when they found out our age and the fact that not only were we trying to get pregnant, but we were willing to do just about anything to make sure it happened. For a long time we kept very quiet about our desires and our struggles, and it’s still not something I feel 100% comfortable discussing.

However, you all know that story has a happy ending because obviously we are the proud parents of a 2 ½ year old. We truly consider him to be a gift from God, because in reality, it shouldn’t have been that easy for us! We are so grateful for him and the fact that we didn’t spend years in the infertility clinic.

I was 100% content with one child and certain that I never wanted to go through all of that again. Also, I went back to college and had the dreams of a dental hygiene degree in front of me. Another child would only complicate everything. Anytime the topic came up, Drew would agree to whatever I said, realizing that I truly do a lot of the parenting on my own, due to his job.

About a year and a half ago, I started having a lot of health issues. Scary words like Ovarian Cancer started surfacing in conversations with doctors. At the time I just wanted “everything” taken out and to be done with all the issues. However, no doctor is willing to do that to a 23 year old woman unless it is an absolute necessity. After about 5 months of pain, testing, poking and prodding, I was thankfully given a clean bill of health and we were able to resolve all of the issues.

 As you can imagine, the conversation of more children came up A LOT during this time, and I started to notice the heartache in my husband’s eyes. I always knew he wanted more children, but he was willing to sacrifice his wishes to keep me happy. (I really married a stellar guy, if I haven’t told you all 1000 times already!) So after a change of heart on my side, we had literally a five minute conversation that ended in our agreement to try again. However, we also agreed that if it was meant to be, it would be. Neither one of us were willing to pursue to the route we previously took. So we decided to leave it all up to God. This might be a little too much information, but literally one month later, right after our 4 year wedding anniversary, we found out I was pregnant!

While we were both VERY excited, neither one of us were expecting results so soon! After a few months of disbelief and denial, I finally accepted the fact that this was really happening. However, I still have a lot weighing on my mind in regards to the timing. My husband is currently attending one of the Army’s   (well technically Navy’s…) most challenging schools, with an extremely high attrition rate. While we are thrilled he will (hopefully) get to be there for the birth of this child (he was in Afghanistan when Houston was born), newborns don’t exactly make things easier on an already exhausted and mentally drained father. Also, his 10 days of paternity leave, which are usually a welcome treat to a new mom, will set him back further and put him in with a different set of peers approximately halfway through the course. I should also add that although he is physically here, between the hours of 4:40 AM and about 6:00 PM he is totally unreachable via cell phone or anything else….which might not seem like a big deal, but you’d be surprised how many issues arise during those hours that a simple text or phone call could fix almost immediately. That’s really a minor annoyance and inconvenience to me though. More than anything, I am feeling guilty for the stress he will be under.

This brings me back to the point of today’s post…. Here I am feeling scared to death and completely stressed out over having a second child for the above reasons and a long list of more that I won’t go into detail about….

Last night the season finale of 19 Kids and Counting was on TV. Although I don’t watch the show regularly, I like to watch it when I can catch it. (Don’t judge too harshly!! LOL) Drew rolls his eyes every time I turn it on, but he sits there and watches it with me! While I don’t agree with ALL of their views, for the most part I feel they are right on target. It’s refreshing to watch a reality TV show with positive messages and a faith based family behind the cameras. For those of you who don’t watch or know what has happened to them recently, they are in the mid-40’s with 19 kids. Michelle, the mom, was expecting her 20^th child. At her midpoint ultrasound it was discovered that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. Three days later she gave birth to the body of a little girl, about 18 weeks old, who they named Jubilee. As I watched the episode with tear-filled eyes, I was in awe of how they were handling the situation. They kept saying “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (a translation of Job 1:21, which the NIV translates as “….The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised”).  In this episode they had a memorial service for their daughter and said goodbye. Throughout all of this, although they were mourning a loss, they remained positive and kept thanking God for the gift of her life, even though it was so short.

Needless to say, this really shook me out of the funk I have been in lately. For whatever reason, God has blessed Drew and me with two sons, and his timing is always the right timing. Although I might be stressing over issues such as our financial situation, I trust that the Lord will find a way for us. He always has, and trust me, we’ve been in situations worse than this before! I will continue to pray for my husband and his success at school, however I know if this new career path isn’t God’s will for him, then we must accept it too. Any changes in life are scary, so I’m not going to say that I’m totally at ease with the new tasks I will be undertaking soon as a mother of two. However, I know I can get through it, and I’m actually starting to get really excited.

For those who are so eager to ask, “Is this it?” all I am willing to say is, “We’ll see”. J

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” James 1:17

Feeling Blessed at the Beach

We have lived here in Florida for close to six weeks now, and honestly the time has flown by! We are almost completely settled into our house and are becoming more familiar with our surrounding area.

This afternoon we decided to enjoy the nice 80 degree weather at the beach, which is a short 15-30 minute drive from our house, depending on which beach we choose. The water here is absolutely breathtaking – aqua blue and crystal clear! The sand is soft and white and adds to the beauty. Since we came from North Carolina, where neither is really the case, and loved the beaches there, you can imagine this is like heaven! Today we chose the first public beach we came to on Okaloosa Island, so it isn’t too far into the tourist areas and it isn’t exclusively military (which is another option here….).

I enjoyed the first 40 minutes or so of our stay relaxing in my beach chair and reading a book, while Drew kept Houston occupied. Then a group of four military wives, alone with their children, claimed their spot about 8 feet away from me, completely within hearing distance.

If you know me even a little bit, you know that I am very selective in which military wives I socialize and associate myself with. Just because our husbands work together, doesn’t mean I want to or have to be your best friend. I have very good reasons for doing this, although it may come off a little snobby to some. I choose my friends based on similar interests and values. There can be far too much competition and cattiness in groups of women, neither of which I have a desire to take part in. Also, if you know both of us as a couple, you know that we don’t usually advertise the fact that my husband is in the military. It’s his job, not the only thing that defines us….

As I was reading, and involuntarily eavesdropping to their conversations, several topics really started to bother me. The discussion started out with one of them asking if another’s husband had made it to the next promotion level yet. (Competition….) Rank is a tricky and tacky subject matter, in my opinion. I listened to them gossip about their husbands’ duty assignments and coworkers’ wives for quite a while….

Then one of the other women, who moved here from the same place in NC that we did, started whining about being here. Now this may come off as hypocritical on my part, since I have done my share of complaining about the circumstances. However, most of that stemmed from the fact that I moved here and set up ALONE  (which we found out isn’t nearly as easy as you might think). A hormonal woman in a completely new place, without her husband’s help in dealing with the military issues, is allowed a few breakdowns.  Anyway…. Her main complaint was that all we have here is the beach. She misses the shopping we had in Fayetteville and the surrounding areas in NC. This I found to be comical! I will admit there are a few stores Fayetteville had that I truly miss (Hobby Lobby, Salon Centric, and Babies R Us), but those stores are only an hour away from here, in Pensacola, and there are so many MORE stores within a shorter distance! There is a mall in Mary Esther that is much nicer, in my opinion, than Fayetteville. It has almost all the same stores, and I wouldn’t be afraid of a shooting in the parking lot on Black Friday!! There is a pretty big outdoor mall in Destin with variety I would equate to Raleigh, and whatever you can’t find there is located just a little further at the outlet mall in Sandestin. So I am not sure exactly where she shops, but that was definitely an entertaining complaint.  A few phrases came to mind as I listened to her….Bloom where you are planted. Look on the bright side. Make the most of every situation (or in her case duty station!!).

Then the conversation turned to one of the women who was noticeably far along in her pregnancy. They started discussing baby showers and family members who would and wouldn’t be coming. I listened to this woman complain for quite a while about her husband and mother-in-law. She told the others her mother-in-law would be coming to visit and started listing off everything that drives her crazy about her being there. I won’t go into great detail, but this particular complaint hit close to home for me. Granted, we all have troubles with our in-laws and even our “blood” family, but that’s what makes a family normal! I am actually very sad for my mother-in-law because she won’t be able to come down after Cameron is born. Since I don’t know when or even IF we will get to visit Wyoming this year, I have no idea when she will even get to meet her new grandson.

So, to wrap all this up, my point was that today I was feeling 100% grateful for everything in my life right now. A positive attitude can totally change a person’s perspective. Of course most of you have heard me complain about the weird military rules here we aren’t used to, the higher cost of living, etc, but now that I have opened my eyes, I am realizing what a blessing it is for us to be here. We will only be here until the end of the year, but we’ve already made some great new friends, we found a wonderful church to worship with, and we are getting to enjoy, in my opinion, some of God’s most beautiful creations! I intend to make the most of the situation God has put me in! I know sometimes I probably sound just like those women at the beach, who had virtually nothing positive to talk about, but it’s my goal to live my life with a smile and a cheerful heart. I want people to remember my laugh, not my scowl!

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18