Priorities

This past Sunday afternoon we had planned a boating trip with a group of our guy friends here (people that work with Drew). Unfortunately the wind prevented us from boating, but we still enjoyed an afternoon being sandblasted at the beach and a fun dinner followed by all of them spoiling Houston rotten at the arcade attached to the restaurant.

                This made me think of all of our friends from Drew’s last unit, and the bonds they all shared. It was different than the situation here. Here they are all good friends, but it’s more of a competitive type relationship, comparing grades and such. It’s not the same type of brotherhood that develops when you are with people for several years and spend a lot of time with them, sometimes even relying on them for survival.

                Drew’s previous job was as a medic for an infantry battalion. He joined his last unit in the spring of 2008 and deployed with them for 12 months to Afghanistan in 2009-2010. In February 2011, we went on a camping trip with a group of our medic friends at this beautiful lake in North Carolina. I don’t think I will ever forget this trip.

                Drew is always honest with me about his job. I don’t want him to sugar coat things for me. I want to know up front if he will be in danger. Obviously there are confidential things he can’t share with me, so he doesn’t break any rules, but I feel I am pretty informed and have a realistic perspective of what he faces day to day. Deployments are a little different though. It’s impossible to know everything he does every day. It’s also impossible to know all of the details about those dreaded phone calls you receive way too often, informing you of “incidents” and paratroopers whose lives were lost, or those who were injured. I’m not even sure I would want to know all the details, honestly.

                The thing about infantrymen is that they are on the front lines, and their medics are right there with them. Drew was technically a “treatment” medic, so theoretically he stayed at a treatment facility, but he spent several months of the year he was in Afghanistan out “on the line” with the infantry companies. Even being back at the FOB didn’t guarantee safety. It was usually just some sort of tent –like building. He saw plenty of action there as well.

                Back to the camping trip…. Two of the medics we went with were purple heart recipients and one of the medics was attached to the company that saw the most action, hands down, enduring firefights that lasted days at time. That night as we sat around the campfire, they all relived their war horror stories and shared their experiences with each other. I think it’s impossible to even try to understand what they went through, so I will never claim to “get it”, but it definitely painted a vivid picture in my mind when I heard how the events unfolded from their own perspective. One of the worst feelings for a medic is when he or she can’t do anything (at least that’s what I gathered that night and from all the other stories Drew has shared with me). As they talked about those who never made it home, my heart broke.

                Yes, it’s their job, and when they entered the military, they knew what they would potentially face, but it doesn’t always seem “real” to the rest of us, until you hear stories like the ones they told.

                Drew got out of that unit in August 2011, to start training for his new job, but those guys will always be his brothers. At the beginning of 2012 they deployed back to Afghanistan for approximately 9 months this time. In early April, we received the news, of one of the paratroopers who was killed in action. Although he wasn’t the first of this deployment, this one really affected both of us. Suddenly all of the deployment emotions we had tucked away resurfaced, and it all seemed too real again. The young wife this soldier left behind has been so strong through all of this. I can’t even begin to imagine what she is going through, but it’s been so heartbreaking to think about. I can’t even think of how I would tell someone as young as Houston that daddy will never be coming home.

                Unfortunately, stories like theirs are not uncommon and they aren’t limited to military families. Just this weekend I saw two facebook statuses asking for prayers for young families who had unexpectedly lost their fathers.

                For me, hearing stories like this really puts everything into perspective. It makes me cling tighter to those I love and enjoy the smallest of moments that much more! It’s so easy to take the people you love for granted. The reality of life is, though, that it can end in the blink of an eye.

                Although I tell Houston how much I love him every day, several times a day, I hope he really sees it. I hope I am not making myself too busy for him.  I can tell you that lately, one of the ways I have enjoyed some extra time with him is not cutting off the number of books we read. He frequently gets 4-5 books before naptime and usually 2-3 before bedtime. I mean, really, what am I too “busy” doing that I can’t spend five extra minutes reading his favorite book to him? This is the first time in a long time that I haven’t been in school or working, so I really don’t have ANY excuses now!

                The same is true of my relationship with Drew. A lot of dirty dishes sit in the sink until morning time, just so we can get that extra 15 minutes of alone time, before we go to bed. This must have been a wake up call to him as well, because there have been a lot of adorable post it notes left on the kitchen counter, telling me how much he loves me and to have a good day.

                I know this was kind of a long train of thought to follow, but this has really been on my mind a lot lately the past few weeks. I guess the biggest point I’m trying to make is to make sure that the priorities in my life are WORTH being important!